


Schlong

by dickiegreenleaf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: I can't apologize enough, M/M, im so sorry, like really so so so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:51:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22107028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickiegreenleaf/pseuds/dickiegreenleaf
Summary: don't even read this
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 17
Kudos: 36





	Schlong

Dan shuts the door to the flat behind himself when he enters. The arms of his drenched jumper stretch past his hands with the weight of the rain, and he tries without avail to push up the sleeves. As Dan makes his way through the hallway, his swampy shoes squelch under his feet. After getting caught in such a horrid rainstorm on his way home, Dan wants nothing more than to undress, take a hot shower, and lie down to sleep.

On his way to the bedroom, Dan passes the lounge, where he finds Phil spread out on the couch watching an episode of  _ The Good Place _ .

“A bit wet out?” Phil jokes, turning his head toward Dan. Dan sticks his tongue out.

“All wet for you, babe.”

Phil’s cheeks redden slightly as he pulls a face. “Literally filthy,” he responds. “Go take a shower.” Phil turns back to the TV.

Though Dan was just on his way to do exactly that, something about Phil’s mock disgusted tone implores him to mess with his boyfriend a bit further. Dan toes off his soaked shoes and walks to the side of the couch, socked feet leaving small puddles behind him.

Dan smirks down at Phil. “Hi.”

Phil shrieks as Dan climbs on top of him, laying himself down so as to cover every inch of Phil. Phil tries to push Dan onto the floor as his boyfriend laughs and refuses to budge.

“Dan, literally get the hell off!” Phil cries, laughing. “You’re the worst.”

“Mmm, but you love me,” Dan replies as he moves his arms to wrap around Phil as best they can, given their positions.

Phil relents in trying to throw off Dan, seeing as he’s already soaked and the damage has been done. The couch will dry. Phil might as well enjoy a cuddle.

Dan and Phil lie soaked on the couch as Phil plays with Dan’s wet hair. He twirls a curl around his finger, trying his best to not tug too hard at the knots that have formed in Dan’s hair.

Dan buries his face in Phil’s neck and moans softly at the feeling of his hair being pulled. He breathes in Phil’s scent, relishing this quiet moment of intimacy and warmth and its stark contrast to the frigidity of the weather. Dan places a kiss on Phil’s neck, and Phil lets out a small sigh.

Dan begins peppering soft kisses along the wide expanse of Phil’s neck. Phil’s hand in Dan’s hair stills as he focuses on the feeling. In this moment, Phil feels safe. He feels cherished. Slowly, softly, Dan kisses up Phil’s jaw, across his cheek, and places a kiss on Phil’s lips. Phil responds eagerly, moving both hands to tangle in Dan’s knotted hair.

Dan kisses Phil deeply, noting the wonderful contrast between the chill of his jumper on his back and the warmth of Phil’s soft mouth.

Phil presses his hips up gently, and Dan lets out a soft gasp into his mouth. Slowly, the two men begin to rock their hips together. Phil grunts into Dan’s mouth and begins to pull lightly on his hair again. Dan gasps, moves his forearms to either side of Phil’s head, and pushes himself up slightly.

Looking Phil in the eye and still grinding down intently, Dan whispers, “I want your schlong.”

Phil moans and pulls Dan back down for a moment, kissing him with heat. Dan pulls back, sitting up and resting his ass on Phil’s hardening lightsaber. Urgently, Phil tears off his T-shirt, while Dan struggles to remove his rain-soaked jumper. Once both men are shirtless, Dan grinds down again on Phil’s johnson before getting up and removing his jeans. Dan nearly slips in the puddle he’s made on the ground and the clinging denim scratches as it slides down his thighs. Phil, still lying on the couch, unbuckles his belt and pulls his jeans and pants down in one motion. Dan stands in a puddle, clad in only his panties, and stares down at Phil’s erect semen stick. The thick vein that runs along its underside must be throbbing, Dan thinks. His mouth waters as he remembers the feeling of that large yogurt slinger in his mouth.

Dan moves forward and places his hands on Phil, one on his thigh and one on his stomach, and gets down on his knees. Phil keens and attempts to thrust his willy, but Dan keeps his hips pinned down with his hands. Dan locks his eyes with Phil’s and moves his head agonizingly slowly toward Phil’s member. Phil bites his lip as he looks back at Dan, and he looks as if he’s about to cry out. Dan smirks and moves his face to the base of Phil’s manhood, breathing in the scent of him there. Phil smells musky and manly, and it drives Dan wild.

Dan sticks a teasing tongue out to taste Phil’s knob, and Phil moans wildly. Phil’s hands move back to Dan’s hair, pulling hard. Dan hums against Phil’s pecker and moves his mouth to cover its mushroom cap. As Dan bobs his head up and down Phil’s little snail, Dan can feel Phil attempt to restrain his bucking hips. He pulls off with a pop.

“It’s alright,” Dan breathes. “Fuck my mouth with your wood.”

He moves his mouth back to not-so-little Phil, and Phil begins to buck his hips up into Dan’s mouth with reckless abandon. Dan opens his throat and breathes through his nose, pleasure increased by the scent of Phil’s sex. 

Phil cries out as Dan swallows him to his root, humming around Phil’s entire heat-seeking moisture missile. Dan’s tongue flicks out and rubs against Phil’s weiner. As Phil’s hips begin to stutter, Dan senses his climax is near. Dan pulls off and Phil lets out a moan, equally turned on and frustrated.

Dan stands up once more and moves to straddle Phil. He leans up to Phil’s ear and blows in it softly. “I’ve been wearing the plug we keep in a specific place for a reason.”

Phil’s arms around Dan tighten, and he turns to nip at Dan’s ear. “O-okay,” he breathes shakily.

Dan reaches behind himself and slowly pulls out the plug. He leans his head on Phil’s shoulder and lets out a needy breath.

“I need you in my chocolate highway,” Dan moans.

Phil breathes out heavily, moves his hands to Dan’s hip, and drags them down Dan’s moist thighs. “Please.”

Phil puts one hand on his sexcalibur and uses the other to guide Dan down onto him. Dan feels the head of Phil’s danger noodle press against his lunchbox. It makes him shudder. Dan bears down on Phil’s cum gun, feeling filled up by his meat. Once Dan bottoms out, he places his palms on either side of Phil’s head, steadying himself. He takes a deep breath and begins to move his hips, fucking himself on Phil’s long shaft. Phil feels Dan’s mancooter clench around him as he rides him, and it makes him throb. 

Dan begins to move his hips more quickly, savoring the feeling of Phil’s beef whistle inside of him. It always feels so good, so intense to be close like this.

When Dan hears Phil’s breathing become labored once more, he knows his partner is nearing ejaculation. Dan moves one hand from the couch to his own disco stick, stroking and squeezing in time with the movement of his hips. His entire body is on fire, and he feels as if he is going to come apart.

Phil ejaculates with a shout, filling Dan’s bungus with his sex juice. The feeling of Phil’s climax tips Dan over the edge, too, and he comes apart on Phil’s skin flute. Dan’s dick liquid mixes with the raindrops that decorate Phil’s chest. It looks rather pretty, Dan thinks.

As both men begin to come down, Dan moves to lie on the couch next to Phil. He drags his fingertip through the wetness on his partner’s chest, and brings a bit of the liquid on his fingertip to his mouth, licking it clean.

Dan tips his mouth to Phil’s ear, nuzzling him there for a moment. Both men are comfortably silent, skin buzzing from the joy of climax.

“Phil,” Dan whispers softly. “I love it when you fuck me with your custard launcher.”

**Author's Note:**

> fuck me with your meat popsicle xP
> 
> fr what a way to write smut for the first time! oh boy!


End file.
